Is There a Proper Way to Write a Eulogy?
Is There a Proper Way to Write a Eulogy?
Writing a eulogy is an intimate task that demands both care and clarity. The moment you sit down to write, you may find yourself overwhelmed by a rush of memories and emotions. You might wonder whether there's a correct way to honor someone's life in words.
Funerals in Sydney often include eulogies as a significant part of the service. While no universal formula exists, there are guidelines to help you create a eulogy that is both heartfelt and respectful.
Begin with the Heart, Not the Facts
When you think about the person you're writing about, it's tempting to start with the obvious—facts like their birth date, career, or family background. But a eulogy that truly honours someone’s life begins with the heart, not the facts. Think about the emotions that come to mind when you picture them. Were they the kind of person who brought warmth and comfort to everyone they met? Did they have a way of making ordinary moments feel extraordinary?Instead of leading with a chronological recounting of their life, consider beginning with a moment that encapsulates their spirit. Perhaps it was the time they surprised you with an unexpected act of kindness, or the way they always knew how to lighten the mood with a well-timed joke. These are the moments that truly define a person, and starting with them sets a tone of intimacy and connection.
Weave in Stories, Not Just Qualities
A common approach to writing a eulogy for funerals in Sydney is to list the person’s qualities—kind, generous, hardworking. While these traits are important, they can feel generic without context. To make your eulogy unique, focus on storytelling. Share anecdotes that illustrate these qualities in action.For example, instead of simply saying, "She was generous," you might tell a story about how she once gave away her most cherished possession to someone in need, without a second thought. Or instead of saying, "He had a great sense of humour," recount a specific instance when his quick wit turned a challenging situation into something bearable.
Honour Their Legacy in Unexpected Ways
When we talk about someone’s legacy, we often think of the tangible things they left behind—children, achievements, or community contributions. But a legacy is also about the intangible impact they had on those around them. How did they change the way you see the world? What lessons did they teach you that you’ll carry with you for the rest of your life?Consider incorporating these reflections into your eulogy. For example, you might say, "Though she never sought the spotlight, her unwavering belief in the goodness of people has forever changed how I approach others. She taught me that kindness is not a grand gesture, but a series of small, consistent acts that can change the world."
Embrace Imperfections
It’s natural to want to present the person you’re eulogising in the best possible light. However, a eulogy that only highlights perfection can feel less authentic. People are complex, and acknowledging their imperfections can make your tribute more relatable and sincere.For instance, if the person had a stubborn streak, you might talk about how that stubbornness led to some of the most memorable moments in your relationship. "He was never one to back down from a challenge, even when it might have been easier to do so. It was that same stubbornness that saw him through the toughest times, and it's something I'll always admire about him."
Invite the Audience into the Narrative
A powerful way to make your eulogy unique is to engage your audience in the storytelling. Instead of merely speaking about the person, invite those present to reflect on their own experiences with them.You could say something like, "As I stand here today, I know each of you has your own memories of [Name]. Perhaps it was a quiet moment shared over a cup of tea, or a piece of advice given just when you needed it most. These moments, though they may seem small, are the threads that weave together the fabric of a life well-lived."
Close with a Forward-Looking Reflection
Finally, consider ending your eulogy with a reflection that looks forward, rather than back. Instead of a traditional closing, where you sum up the person’s life, you might choose to focus on how their memory will continue to influence those left behind."For as long as I live, I will carry the lessons [Name] taught me in my heart. They have shaped the person I am today, and I know their influence will guide me in the years to come. Let us all continue to honour their memory by living our lives with the same grace, kindness, and courage that they did."
Is There a "Proper" Eulogy?
So, is there a proper way to write a eulogy? The answer isn’t straightforward. While there are no strict rules, certain guidelines can help you craft a tribute that honours the person's life in a meaningful way. The most important thing is that the eulogy reflects your genuine feelings and experiences with the person.When you approach the task with sincerity and care, your eulogy will naturally take shape in a way that feels right. Focus on the person’s story, their legacy, and the impact they had on your life. By doing so, you’ll create a eulogy that not only honours their memory but also provides comfort to those who mourn their loss.
In the end, there is no single right way to write a eulogy. The only guideline that truly matters is that your words come from the heart. By organising your thoughts and focusing on what made the person special, you can deliver a tribute that celebrates their life and leaves a lasting impression on everyone who hears it.