What to Say to a Bereaved Friend One Year After a Loss

Grief Doesn’t Follow a Schedule

Grief doesn’t follow a schedule. One year on, your friend may still feel the weight of their loss. It’s not unusual for sorrow to linger far beyond the funeral, long after the condolences have quieted.

If you're wondering what to say to a bereaved friend, you’re not alone. Finding the right words can feel tricky—but don’t underestimate the comfort your presence and voice can bring.

Why One Year Still Matters

The first year is full of painful milestones—birthdays, holidays, anniversaries. When that year passes, some people expect grief to disappear. The truth is, it often doesn’t.

Your friend might still be navigating waves of emotion—sadness, numbness, even guilt or confusion. They may feel forgotten by others, now that time has moved on.

This is where your role becomes especially meaningful. A message, a call, or a memory shared can be a light in a difficult moment.

A Gentle Reminder: Grief Has No Expiry Date

There’s no timeline for healing. And acknowledging that can mean everything.

Sometimes, what matters most isn’t saying something new—it’s showing them you haven’t forgotten.

Here's what you can do to truly show up:

What To Say

Simple, sincere words are often the most powerful. Here are a few things you might say:

• “I was thinking of [Name] today.”
• “How have you been holding up?”
• “There’s no rush to feel okay. I’m here.”
• “I remember [Name]’s laugh—it was unforgettable.”
• “I still have a photo of [Name]—would you like to see it?”

These comforting words give space for their grief to breathe.

What Not To Say

Some well-meaning words can actually do harm. Try to avoid phrases like:

• “It’s time to move on.”
• “At least they’re in a better place.”
• “You should be over it by now.”

These responses may unintentionally dismiss their pain. Supporting a friend means validating their journey, not rushing it.

Why Words Still Matter

Even if you’ve said it before, say it again. Repeating kind, supportive messages reassures them that they’re not alone.

Offer sympathy freely. Share stories or moments you remember about their loved one. Ask gentle questions. Just listen.

Small Gestures, Big Meaning

Actions can speak volumes. If you’re unsure what to do, consider:

• Sending a handwritten note or card
• Inviting them for a quiet walk
• Dropping off flowers or food
• Lighting a candle in honour of their loved one
• Sharing a memory on the anniversary

Need inspiration for your message? Try something like:

“Thinking of you and [Name] today. I hope you’re surrounded by gentle moments.”

“Still here if you ever need to talk.”

When You Don’t Know What to Say

Say exactly that.

Honest words like “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here” or “I can’t imagine how hard this still is” offer more comfort than silence ever could.

Being awkward but genuine is always better than disappearing.

A Shoulder to Lean On

Showing up one year later makes a difference. It reminds your friend they haven’t been left behind.

Real sympathy is about being steady, thoughtful, and sincere—even when the rest of the world has moved on.

Final Thought:

You don’t need perfect words or big answers to comfort someone who’s grieving. Sometimes, your quiet presence, consistent care, and willingness to simply be there are enough.

Because when it comes to supporting a friend, showing up is the most powerful message of all.