How to Plan a DIY Funeral or Memorial Service
How to Plan a DIY Funeral or Memorial Service
At Funera.Sydney, we understand that saying goodbye to a loved one is a deeply personal experience, and there are various ways to honour their memory. Despite opting for a no-service cremation, it is essential to find a meaningful way to celebrate and honour your loved one's life. Planning a DIY funeral can be more straightforward and cost-effective than you might imagine.
You may still desire a formal funeral service or memorial, even if the physical coffin won't be present. However, when arranging a DIY funeral, you won't require a funeral director. Opting for a DIY approach provides greater flexibility for personalisation and can result in substantial cost savings.
In reality, there are no rigid rules governing funerals. Much like organising any other event or celebration, such as a birthday or even a wedding, planning a funeral or memorial service can be managed independently.
Advantages of a DIY Funeral
Just because funeral directors have traditionally handled funeral services for centuries doesn't mean it's the only option when a loved one passes away. Funera.Sydney offers direct cremation services, which have gained popularity due to shifting preferences and rising costs in the funeral industry. This affordable option enables families to arrange cremations without the need for a traditional funeral church or chapel service.
A direct cremation performed by Funera.Sydney starts from just $1,695 on average at the time of writing (pricing varies by location). This affordability provides loved ones with the financial freedom to organise a more fitting celebration of life at a fraction of the cost.
However, if you still prefer a formal memorial service that closely resembles a traditional funeral, you can certainly plan a DIY funeral without the involvement of a funeral director.
Step 1: Select a DIY Funeral Location or Venue
Contrary to popular belief, a funeral need not be held in a church or crematorium chapel. Instead, it should reflect the unique life of the person being celebrated. When choosing a location for your service, consider the individual you are honouring and select a setting that aligns with their personality and interests. Whether they enjoyed gardening, sailing, hiking, fishing, or swimming, you can opt for a venue in nature that resonates with their passions.
Planning a DIY funeral is akin to organising any gathering – it requires choosing a date, time, and location. There are limitless venue options, including hosting a memorial service at home, a public park, a community centre, or even renting a chapel at a cemetery for a private service without a funeral director.
When planning your DIY funeral, consider reaching out to your local cemetery to inquire about rates and availability for booking a non-denominational chapel and function room for a post-funeral gathering or "wake." Many cemeteries offer catering options and audio-visual facilities for displaying a photo slideshow or DVD to celebrate your loved one. Some sites even permit self-catering, allowing you to tailor the menu to the deceased's favourite foods. Booking the venue yourself allows you to keep costs down and make the service as unique as your loved one.
Step 2: Decide on a Funeral Celebrant or MC
The next consideration is who will lead the funeral or memorial service. You have the option to choose a celebrant or even have a close friend or relative guide the ceremony if you feel comfortable.
Funeral celebrants can be easily found online through resources such as the Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants or Funeral Celebrants Association Australia. Alternatively, you can locate a celebrant through a Google search in your area. Contact details for celebrants are readily available online, allowing you to book their services directly.
When planning a DIY funeral, you may also wish to align catering choices with the deceased's favourite foods or cultural preferences.
Step 3 – Arrange Catering
Consider your loved one's favourite foods, sweets, or cultural cuisine when planning the catering for your DIY funeral. If you're renting a function room for the service, the venue will typically offer catering options. You can discuss personalising the menu with the venue staff.
Alternatively, you may choose to organise refreshments for the memorial service yourself by exploring local catering services or consulting a favoured restaurant to inquire about catering options.
Step 4 – Decide on DIY Funeral Music
Selecting appropriate music is essential as it helps set the mood and atmosphere for the funeral or memorial service. When choosing funeral songs, consider the emotions and ambience you want to convey.
For a less traditional service, consider using a theme song from a favourite movie, TV show, sports team, or event. To find inspiration, explore your loved one's personal music collection – you might discover some unexpected choices. However, take caution and ensure that the lyrics are appropriate for the occasion.
You can find a list of suitable songs for an end-of-life service in our article: "Songs for Funerals and Memorial Services," or explore our Funeral Songs playlists.
Step 5 – Eulogy and Tributes
The tribute segment of a funeral or memorial service begins with the eulogy. A eulogy is a speech typically delivered by a family member or close friend. It serves to commemorate and celebrate the life of the deceased, sharing their life story, achievements, and who they were as a person. A well-written eulogy imparts valuable life lessons to those in attendance.
Writing a eulogy involves reflecting on the person's life journey, their accomplishments, and their character. It should inspire and teach those listening. It's essential to write from the heart and express what matters most to you.
Funeral Tributes
Following the eulogy, tributes are typically delivered by the deceased's children, parents, or close relatives. Tributes add depth to the individual's life story and convey cherished memories or anecdotes that capture their personality.
Tributes can also take the form of performances, such as songs, poems, prayers, or inspirational quotes. For ideas, we have compiled a selection of funeral poems.
Step 6 – Create a Photo Slideshow or DVD
A photo slideshow or DVD can enhance the reflection time during the service and provide a focal point for attendees, especially when a coffin is absent. Creating a photo slideshow is a relatively simple task that can be accomplished by a tech-savvy relative or friend using software like PowerPoint.
Alternatively, if you have access to video editing software, you can compile short home video clips. If you prefer professional assistance, you can hire a videographer, although this option can be costly and is not always necessary.
Select music for the photo slideshow that celebrates life, happy memories, and the joys of living, avoiding overly sombre choices. Ensure that the necessary audio-visual equipment, such as a laptop, projector, screen, and amplifier, is available at the venue. If you're renting a function space, the venue staff can assist with these arrangements.
Step 7 – Decide on the Memorial Order of Service
A funeral order of service typically follows a specific format:
- Welcome music
- Welcome and introduction by celebrant or MC
- Eulogy
- Tributes
- Reflection time with music
- Final message
- Committal (prayers for religious services, sometimes at the grave site or final resting place)
- Farewell music
of service and any poems or readings in a booklet. This can be created using software like InDesign and printed at locations such as Officeworks. Alternatively, you can hire a professional to create one for you.
Step 8 – Memorial Service Cards or 'Prayer Cards'
Instead of an order of service booklet, you may opt to provide memorial service cards as keepsakes for attendees to take home. These cards have evolved from the Catholic tradition of 'prayer cards' distributed at funerals. They typically feature an inspirational photo of the deceased, along with their birth and death dates, as well as a prayer or scripture verse.
In modern times, these cards have become more secular and non-religious, incorporating inspirational quotes, poems, or messages as a tribute to the deceased. You can easily create these cards using design software or enlist the services of a professional.
Step 9 – DIY Funeral Notices and Newspaper Tributes
Publishing a death or funeral notice in the local newspaper is straightforward and can be done through the newspaper's website or by contacting their advertising department. Most newspapers offer the option to list notices in both print and online editions, or exclusively in the online edition. This can typically be arranged independently.
Alternatively, with the prevalence of social media, you can post the funeral notice on Facebook as a regular public post or create an event. An event allows you to invite the deceased's closest friends and family, who can then share the event with their contacts. This approach is not only convenient but also free.
Step 10 – Arrange an Ashes Scattering Ceremony
Decide whether you would like to incorporate the ashes scattering service into the celebration-of-life memorial or hold it separately as a private moment for immediate family members. The choice is yours.
Ashes scattering can take place in a location that held significance for your loved one, whether it's a family property, a favourite hiking trail, the sea, or a beloved vacation spot. The options for ashes scattering are limitless, allowing for both conventional and creative approaches.
Another meaningful farewell option is a tree-planting ceremony, creating a lasting, living memory.
Final Thoughts on Planning a DIY Funeral
Traditionally, funeral planning has been viewed as an urgent task following a loved one's passing. Services have typically been held within a week of the death, often in a church or funeral home, following a prescribed format and maintaining a formal tone. However, you are not bound to this tradition. Just as each individual is unique, a farewell to a loved one can be equally unique and reflective of their life.
At Funera.Sydney, we believe in offering alternatives that meet your needs when saying goodbye to a loved one. Our direct cremation services provide an affordable option for those looking for a more personalised and budget-friendly farewell. We understand that every individual is unique, and we are here to support you in honouring your loved one's memory in the way that feels right for you.